Can Being Right Be Hazardous to Your Wealth?

Would You Rather Be Right or, Rich?

Can being right be hazardous to your wealth?

Let me tell you about a customer who was more interested in being right than being rich or at least, more profitable.

He purchased one of my training programs at a conference I spoke at. The package included my book, audio compact disks, and digital materials. He left the conference with my book and the compact disks. The compact disks had all the meat.

I was traveling that month, and asked my associate to email the written materials to him. When I returned to my office three weeks later, I discovered we had not emailed the materials.

I also found two emails the customer sent that wound up in the spam filter and got rejected. I didn’t know he sent them during the three weeks I was on the road.

I immediately emailed him the materials with a letter of apology for the delay. I explained we didn’t reply to his emails because we didn’t get them. I mentioned that since email can be unreliable, any time he needs us he should feel free to call on our dime.

For his trouble, I offered him a half-hour of my time to chat, consult, brainstorm, to use how ever he wanted.

He fired back a very abrupt letter accusing us of not delivering the digital materials in 24 hours. He delivers in 24 hours, so he expected us to do the same. He was unhappy and didn’t want to keep the materials.

Although we didn’t promise 24-hour delivery, I took the high road. I wrote back apologizing for the delay and for all the confusion. I took full responsibility and again offered him a half-hour of my time. What my clients pay for a half-hour of advice is 10 times what he spent, and worth a lot more. You would think he would accept my apology and my time, and make the very most of a half-hour of solid brainstorming.

You would be wrong. Not only didn’t he accept my offer, he wanted his money back; not because of the value of the materials, but “on principle.”

The principle being, he delivers in 24 hours so he expects everyone else to do the same. Late deliveries are not tolerated. Not replying to emails is unacceptable. Despite offering him my deepest apologies and my personal time, our transgressions were unforgivable.

He wanted his money back or he would call the Better Business Bureau.

Was he right about us not replying to his emails? Yes.

Was he right that he didn’t get his materials for 21 days? Yes.

Was he within his rights to ask for his money back? Absolutely!

He got his money back and got to keep all the materials, including my book which I signed.

Was he right to reject my offer of personal consulting and end the relationship? I’m sure he thinks so.

From where I stand, he put his need to be right above his desire for better results and higher profitability.

While gurus preach “raise your expectations” I encourage people to lower them. High expectations lead to rigid, right/wrong thinking and perfectionist standards unobtainable by mere mortals. Not meeting your own expectations is a major source of disappointment and goal frustration.

This guy had an expectation that we should do things “right” or lose his business. His ego wouldn’t let him accept my apology and give him more value and payoff.

I asked him to consider the real cost of our mistake, and compare it to the real value we were willing to give him to correct it. I agreed that he should have gotten his materials in a much shorter time than three weeks, even though he already had the audio and the book. This didn’t matter. All he could see is that he was right and we were wrong.

He chose being right over being more profitable and successful.

He wasn’t just satisfied with just being right. He copied the association president on his emails, to let him know we dropped the ball. He wasn’t pleased, and he would make sure everybody in this association knew it.

Rather than being happy with the extra value we could have brought to his company, rather than seeing the benefits we had to offer his organization, he was hell bent on letting everyone know we blew it.

He was right. And as a result, everyone suffered because of it.

Being intolerant of mistakes is old game thinking. Needing to be right is a destructive way of being. People can get so blinded by being right that they can’t see when being right is hazardous to their wealth. Worse, extreme righteousness can be hazardous to your health.

Everyone makes mistakes. Every business makes mistakes. Everyone has blind spots. We all suffer from a lack of clarity at times, sometimes about what matters most.

You know a “new game” company not by how many mistakes its people make, but how they handle and correct them. They go the extra mile to make it right, then extend themselves into the second mile to make it better.

They know that turning a negative experience into a windfall for a buyer is the highest and best they can do. They keep the buyer, restore the trust, and can move forward to produce higher and better results together.

This story could have turned out that way; a happy ending with everyone getting the highest and best possible. How?

He accepts my apology (he’s right), he gets special treatment (he’s happy) and then he gets my personal coaching for being so understanding (he’s richer). Sounds like a total win.

I was willing to go out of my way to help him get a big return on his $199. Maybe he makes one extra $5,000 or $10,000 sale. Maybe we help his association colleagues generate more business, earn a few bucks more profit.

Everyone wins.

The Learning:

Don’t fall into the righteousness trap.
Don’t choose right over happy.
Don’t put being right above being rich.

Question your thinking and challenge your beliefs.

Be tolerant of people’s mistakes, and especially be tolerant of your own.

The short-term gain of being right is not worth the long-term loss of chasing away opportunity or slamming the door on possibility.

Being right may matter.
Being HAPPY and RICH matter more!