If Women Ran the World

In honor of the 100th International Women’s Day, I pay tribute to the ladies by sharing the editorial I wrote on March 19, 2003 on the eve of the Iraq invasion:

“If Women Ran the World!”

A Whole NEW Kind of Regime Change!

I have a simple solution that will eliminate the threat of weapons of mass destruction and end all need for war. It’s a sure-fire way to step back from the brink and save everyone from untold pain and suffering.

It’s a regime change all right, a whole different kind of regime change that would really rock the world. We can avoid war, make the planet safer and our lives more peaceful. Here’s how:

AT 11:59PM TONIGHT, EVERY MAN IN POWER IN EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD STEPS DOWN.

AT MIDNIGHT TONIGHT, WE TURN OVER CONTROL, POWER, and AUTHORITY OF THE PLANET TO WOMEN.

If women ran the world, here’s what could happen, starting tomorrow:

The leadership model would be one of serving, not dominating.

We wouldn’t be living in a perpetual state of fear and high alert, and machine gun toting police would not be standing at the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel.

War as a pre-emptive method of conflict resolution would not be a model we teach our children.

The words, “compassionate conservatism” would have a ring of truth to them.

No human life would ever again be called, “collateral damage.”

Peace, love and understanding, not power, perks and politics would be the highest considerations.

There would be more points of view than, “You’re either with us, or you’re against us.”

Within weeks, every starving child on the planet would have food to eat.

Within months, the homeless would have some kind of shelter.

Every sick person would get medical attention, whether they could afford it or not.

Homicide bombing would stop. Mothers don’t send their children to commit suicide and kill others for someone else’s fanatical beliefs.

There would be an end to honor killing, and all forms of torture; physical, mental and emotional.

Iraqi women would locate, disclose and help round up for elimination all weapons of mass destruction. Leaders of North Korea, Pakistan, India, Russia, China, France, Germany, Great Britain, Israel, the United States and every other nuclear nation would follow. They would begin to shut down all nuclear weapons programs.

Israelis and Palestinians would live in peace.

Anthrax, sarin gas, and other biological and chemical killers would not show up in our mailboxes.

Genocide everywhere would end.

Billions of dollars earmarked for military attack on Iraq would be channeled into food, shelter, health care and education for the Iraqi people.

Billions of dollars of retirement plans would be intact, and billions more would still be in company coffers instead of the pockets and personal bank accounts of fat cat male execs.

Tens of billion dollars of unpaid taxes would be injected back into the economy from companies that incorporate offshore to avoid paying corporate taxes.

Classrooms would take priority over boardrooms.

Little League would be as important as the Big League.

Elections wouldn’t be a contest of affluence. Third and fourth parties would emerge to reflect the political views of a broader and more diverse population.

Troops would be coming home this week.

Our leader would know how to pronounce the word,
“N-U-C-L-E-A-R!

We would divert hundreds of billions of dollars from destructive into constructive uses at home and abroad.

We would avoid the high cost of a war on Iraq. *

*Estimated “High” Cost of War in Iraq (from the
New York Times article, “The Price We Pay”):

Military Deployment = $79 billion
Military Occupation = $105 billion (First 5 years only.)
Humanitarian Aid = $10 billion
Governance = $12 billion
Reconstruction/Recovery = $105 billion
Debt/Claims/Reparation = $361 billion
Aid To Allies = $10 billion
(Doesn’t include quid pro quo deals)

HIGH Cost of War = $682 billion
Human Lives Lost = Priceless!

I’m sure you can think of quite a few other ways that life on the planet would be very different today if countries were not being run by testosterone driven “alpha” males, and the world were not so dominated by primordial, power-seeking behavior.

Really, it’s a simple solution that would cost almost nothing as compared to what we face.

Mr. Bush says that

regime change is the only choice for a free Iraq. I don’t agree with him on much, but on that I’m in complete alignment. Let’s expand it to:

EVERY COUNTRY ON THE PLANET!

LET’S HAVE REGIME CHANGE EVERYWHERE.
LET’S DO IT TONIGHT!

Mr. Bush, set regime change in motion. Instead of giving the order to attack Iraq, turn over the reigns of power to Laura tonight at midnight. Mrs. Bush is trustworthy as interim president until we can have a full election.

Simultaneously, at midnight tonight every male leader of every country in the world steps aside, and turns over power, leadership and control to women.

Their first act would be a 90-day non-violence pact, a cooling down period. Every country has three months to reorganize around “female” values and principles of leadership. In a month or two, all the leaders would come together in a world-wide summit (sorry guys, ladies only). Men can play an advisory role, but we leave it to the women to decide policy.

C’mon, ladies. Don’t you think it’s time to express and unleash your power?

Don’t you think it’s time for you to step forward and get your hands on the steering wheel, before we run this vehicle completely off the road?

For those who believe we need a New World order, I say bring it on.
Let the New World Order be:

“WOMEN RULE.”

I understand how my male brethren may disagree, and may not see eye to eye with this view. C’mon fellas, we’ve had the reigns for thousands of years, and look at where we are today. The ladies couldn’t do any worse than we have.

It’s very clear we can’t get it together without fighting, wreaking havoc, creating massive “collateral damage” and killing far too many innocent and irreplaceable loved ones in the process.

What do you say, guys? Why don’t we just step aside, and let the ladies have at it for awhile?

Let’s experience the next few years with women at the helm. Heck, we may enjoy it. I know it’s a big step to give up authority and control to a maternal model of power. But it’s what we need to get planet Earth back on even keel.

Look at the bright side: it can open up a whole new world of possibility for us to spend our time in other, more enjoyable, less stressful activities. Maybe we can return to the real purpose of life: making love, not war.

Mr. Bush, show real leadership. Let Laura take over.

C’mon Saddam. Let Mrs. Saddam handle the weapons of mass destruction. She’ll know what to do with them.

Let women take over at midnight tonight, and we’ll all wake up tomorrow morning with a different feeling in the pit of the stomach.

Yes, regime change does seem in order.

Ladies, you have my vote.
There’s still time…

Your brother,

Mitch Axelrod
March 19, 2003

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© 2003-2011, Mitch Axelrod

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